How to Build a Relationship With Your Child to Weather any Storm
April 4, 2022
Good parenting “is as simple and old-fashioned as the relationship you build with your child,” writes psychologist Matthews (Being Smart About Gifted Learning) in this practical guide. She takes an approach that prizes self-knowledge over perfection, kicking things off with a quiz to help parents determine their parenting style: there’s permissive, authoritarian, neglectful, and authoritative. The latter is the type Matthews champions, as it makes use of “positive reinforcement and reasoning rather than punishment.” The bulk of her advice comes in the form of case studies, each accompanied by a lesson: there’s Ezra, a “spirited” but demanding baby whose experiences illustrate the need to “accept and affirm your child’s unique personality”; Jesse, a teen who begins uncharacteristically lying to her mother and shows how making mistakes can lead to growth; and Jarel, whose parents ask for and receive an advanced math program at his school to aid his development in the subject, showing how to advocate for one’s child. Each scenario builds on Matthews’s notion that parents’ primary job is keeping their child “safe, warm, and fed,” rather than “aiming for parenting perfection.” Parents to kids of all ages will find reassurance in this action-oriented advice.